Believe me, it has crossed my mind and is that one question I ask myself potentially too often, “Was I really THAT bad?” Did I really need to go all the way out and quit drinking for good? The answer is yes. My husband and I met just after I hit 1 year sober. Trust me, meeting the man of my dreams was the last thing I was prepared for. I had just learned how to love myself and all those flaws that I grew to hate and with no notice I had to learn how to love another human being. If learning to love myself was a challenge, imagine what loving someone else felt like… totally out of my comfort zone.
I’ve had an interesting 14 months in sobriety. When I think back to 12 months ago and how difficult the first 6 months were, I give myself a big pat on the back for sticking through with the program. Addiction recovery wasn’t an easy thing for me to combat, I was constantly bombarded with my demons and poison each time I stepped out of my flat. There were days I truly thought I’d never get through.
Each year on my birthday I’d blow out my candles and wish for love.
The universe has a funny way of making wishes come true because seven months later I entered alcohol addiction recovery and started to fall in the deepest and greatest love of all, the love with my own self.
You see, prior to sobriety I was drinking daily. I didn’t know how to sit at a table and simply drink a glass of orange juice, it always had to have something in it like vodka, make it a double too. Back then I was an expensive date, now I’m a very cheap one.
Alcohol addiction recovery has been a roller coaster ride over the past 8 months. Yes, 8 months without a single drop of alcohol. I can’t say my recovery has been easy, more often I have “off” days than “on” but as a sobriety devotee, alcoholics anonymous and all, I understand that it’s all part of the process. I am constantly googling what to expect in sobriety and if what I am experiencing is normal, reinforcing the fact that I am finally on the right path in my life, at 30 years of age.
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